Pound Puppies and the Legend of Big Paw
NC: Hello, I'm the Nostalgia Critic. I remember it so you don't have to! Remember the Pound Puppies? Footage from Pound Puppies commercial is shown. NC (Voiceover): Sure you do. Their marketing gimmick was far too clever to overlook. Buy one of our cute SAD LITTLE puppies or else, they get the gas! Boy (Commercial): Those lonely pound puppies really need to be rescued! NC (Voiceover): It was a brilliant idea. And like most toys in 1980's, if it was popular, it warranted a show. Footage from the Pound Puppies animated series is shown. NC (Voiceover): So we got the Pound Puppies show, which was just as dry idea as the executives has greenlighted it. I don't know. We got these dogs in the pound, but they get out dogs out of the pound, there's evil woman who runs it, then there's a daughter who runs it, she tries to capture them even though they're somehow already in a pound, something about magic power that allows them to talk to humans... NC: It was a mess. And just to make it even more confusing, they had a theatrical release that switched things up even more. That was . Title card of Paw is shown. NC (Voiceover): Emotionally lagging, and creatively retarded, the Pound Puppies movie was just as big a sellout you would think. And considering how it was based on a show that was a sellout that was based on a toy that was sellout, there's a lot of fucking selling out to be done here. NC: So why should these characters have been korean appetizers? Let's take a look! Movie starts NC (Voiceover): So it's a beautiful day in whatever's-ville, the sun is shining the clouds are out... the cars stop in the mid-dissolve, it's absolutely wonderful. And on this day we see three dogs walking to the museum. Male puppy: Dear uncle Whopper, where are you taking us? Whopper: All I said it's a little surprise! Female puppy '''(Blankly): Did you like surprises, uncle Whopper? '''NC: Oh, boy. I think the director's kids wanted a cameo! A boy on a skateboard jaywalks in front of the dogs while a car runs toward him. Whopper: Hey! Watch out! Whopper prevents the boy from being hit by a car. The boy's skateboard smashes into pieces. Boy: Whoa! That could have been me! Thanks. Whopper: It will be you if you don't start watching the lights and wait for the walk signal before you cross! NC (Voiceover): Why, thanks magic-walking-talking dog! Boy, this is the best high ever. Whopper: It's a good thing that we still have puppy power, or else I couldn't have talked to him. NC (Voiceover): Yes, apparantly there's this thing called puppy power where dogs and humans can magically talk to one another. Not too late to get a refund, folks! Male puppy: Where did it come from anyway, uncle Whopper? Whopper: Wait untill you hear this! A peaceful forest is shown. A butterlfy sits on a flower. Whopper (Voiceover): It all started back in the Dark Ages, back in the days of the knights. NC (Voiceover): Wait a minute, what? The forest suddenly turns into a busy battlefied of the knights. Whopper (Voiceover): Things were a lot different back then: good and evil knights— NC (Voiceover): But, what the— Whopper (Voiceover): — fought each other for the right to search for— NC (Voiceover): What the hell? Whopper (Voiceover): —the mystical sword Excalibur!